5.1. Beginnings: Trust and Attachment
Key Questions
What are Erikson’s first three stages of psychosocial development?
How do infants become emotionally attached to mother, father, and other significant people in their lives?
What are the different kinds of attachment relationships, how do they arise, and what are their consequences?
Ever since Aliya was a newborn, Nia and Jaylen looked forward to dinner out together on Friday night. But recently they’ve had a problem. When they leave 8-month-old Aliya with a sitter, she gets a frightened look on her face and begins to cry hysterically. Nia and Jaylen wonder whether Aliya’s behavior is normal and whether their Friday night dinners are coming to an end.
The socioemotional relationship that develops between an infant and a parent (usually, but not necessarily, the mother) is special. This is a baby’s first relationship, and scientists and parents believe that it should be satisfying and trouble-free to set the stage for later relationships. In this section, we’ll look at the steps involved in creating the baby’s first emotional relationship. Along the way, you’ll see why Aliya cries when Nia and Jaylen leave her with a sitter.
Erikson’s Stages of Early Psychosocial Development
Some keen insights into psychosocial development come from a theory proposed by Erik Erikson (1982). We first encountered Erikson’s theory in Chapter 1; he describes development as a series of eight stages, each with a unique crisis for psychosocial growth. When a crisis is resolved successfully, an area of psychosocial strength is established. When the crisis is not resolved, that aspect of psychosocial development is stunted, limiting the individual’s ability to resolve future crises.
In Erikson’s theory, infancy and the preschool years are represented by three stages, shown in Table 5.1. Let’s take a closer look at each stage.
Table 5.1 Erikson’s First Three Stages
AGE
CRISIS
STRENGTH
Infancy
Basic trust vs. mistrust
Hope
1–3 years
Autonomy vs. shame and doubt
Will
3–5 years
Initiative vs. guilt
Purpose
Basic Trust Versus Mistrust
Erikson argues that trust in oneself and others is the foundation of human development. Newborns leave the warmth and security of the uterus for an unfamiliar world. When parents respond to their infant’s needs consistently, the infant comes to trust and feel secure in the world. Of course, the world is not always pleasant and is sometimes dangerous. Parents may not always reach a falling baby in time, or they may accidentally feed an infant food that is too hot. Erikson sees value in these experiences because infants learn mistrust. With a proper balance of trust and mistrust, infants can acquire hope, an openness to new experience tempered by wariness that discomfort or danger may arise.
Autonomy Versus Shame and Doubt
Between 1 and 3 years of age, children gradually learn that they can control their own actions. With this understanding, children strive for autonomy, for independence from others. However, autonomy is counteracted by doubt that the child can handle demanding situations and by shame that may result from failure. A blend of autonomy, shame, and doubt gives rise to will, the knowledge that within limits, youngsters can act on their world intentionally.
Initiative Versus Guilt
Most 3- and 4-year-olds take some responsibility for themselves (e.g., by dressing themselves). Youngsters also begin to identify with adults and their parents; they begin to understand the opportunities available in their culture. Play begins to have purpose as children explore adult roles such as parent, teacher, athlete, or writer. Youngsters start to explore the environment on their own, ask questions about the world, and imagine possibilities for themselves.
This initiative is moderated by guilt as children realize that their initiative may place them in conflict with others; they cannot pursue their ambitions with abandon. Purpose is achieved with a balance between individual initiative and a willingness to cooperate with others.
Erikson’s theory is valuable in tying together psychosocial developments across the entire life span. We will return to the remaining stages in later chapters. For now, let’s concentrate on the first of Erikson’s crises—the establishment of trust in the world—and see how infants form an emotional bond with their parents.
The Growth of Attachment
In explaining the essential ingredients of these early social relationships, modern accounts take an evolutionary perspective. According to evolutionary psychology, many human behaviors represent successful adaptation to the environment. That is, over human history, some behaviors have made it more likely that people will pass on their genes to following generations. For example, we take it for granted that most people enjoy being with other people. But evolutionary psychologists argue that our “social nature” is a product of evolution: for early humans, being part of a group offered protection from predators and made it easier to locate food. Thus, early humans who were social were more likely than their asocial peers to live long enough to reproduce, passing on their social orientation to their offspring (Kurzban et al., 2015). Over many, many generations, “being social” had such a survival advantage that nearly all people are socially oriented (although in differing amounts, as we know from the research on temperament discussed in Chapter 3).
Applied to child development, evolutionary psychology highlights the adaptive value of behavior at different points in development (Bjorklund & Jordan, 2013). For example, think about the time and energy parents invest in child rearing. Without such effort, infants and young children would die before they were sexually mature, which means that a parent’s genes could not be passed along to grandchildren (Geary, 2002). Here, too, parenting just seems “natural,” but it really represents an adaptation to the problem of guaranteeing that one’s helpless offspring can survive until they’re sexually mature.
Steps Toward Attachment
An evolutionary perspective of early human relationships comes from John Bowlby (1969, 1991). According to Bowlby, children who form an attachment to an adult—that is, an enduring socioemotional relationship—are more likely to survive. This person is usually the mother but need not be; the key is a strong emotional relationship with a responsive, caring person. Attachments can form with fathers, grandparents, or someone else. Bowlby described four phases in the growth of attachment:
Preattachment (birth to 6–8 weeks). During prenatal development and soon after birth, infants rapidly learn to recognize their mothers by smell and sound, which sets the stage for forging an attachment relationship (Hofer, 2006). What’s more, evolution has endowed infants with many behaviors that elicit caregiving from adults. When babies cry, smile, or gaze intently at a parent, the parent usually smiles back or holds the baby. The infant’s behaviors and the responses they evoke in adults create an interactive system that is the first step in forming attachment relationships.
Attachment in the making (6–8 weeks to 6–8 months). During these months, babies begin to behave differently in the presence of familiar caregivers and unfamiliar adults. Babies smile and laugh more often with the primary caregiver. And when babies are upset, they’re more easily consoled by the primary caregiver. Babies are gradually identifying the primary caregiver as the person they can depend on when they’re anxious or distressed.
True attachment (6–8 months to 18 months). By approximately 7 or 8 months, most infants have singled out the attachment figure—usually the mother—as a special individual. The attachment figure is now the infant’s stable socioemotional base. For example, a 7-month-old exploring a novel environment may periodically look toward his mother, as if asking her to reassure that all is well. The behavior suggests that the infant trusts his mother and indicates that the attachment relationship is established. In addition, this behavior reflects important cognitive growth: the infant now has a mental representation of the mother, an understanding that she will be there to meet the infant’s needs (Lewis, 1997).
Reciprocal relationships (18 months on). Infants’ growing cognitive and language skills and their accumulated experience with their primary caregivers make infants better able to act as partners in the attachment relationship. They often initiate interactions and negotiate with parents (“Please read me another story!”). They begin to understand parents’ feelings and goals and sometimes use this knowledge to guide their own behavior (e.g., social referencing, which we describe Recognizing and Using Others’ Emotions). In addition, they cope with separation more effectively because they can anticipate that parents will return.
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Evolutionary psychology emphasizes the adaptive value of parents nurturing their offspring.
Think About It
Based on Piaget’s description of infancy (pages 122–124), what cognitive skills might be essential prerequisites for the formation of an attachment relationship?
Forms of Attachment
Thanks to biology, virtually all infants behave in ways that elicit caregiving from adults, and consequently, attachment usually develops between infant and caregiver by 8 or 9 months of age. However, attachment takes different forms, and environmental factors help determine the quality of attachment between infants and caregivers. Mary Ainsworth (1978, 1993) pioneered the study of attachment relationships using a procedure known as the Strange Situation. Table 5.2 shows that the Strange Situation involves several brief episodes. The mother and infant enter an unfamiliar room filled with interesting toys. The mother leaves briefly, then mother and baby are reunited.
Table 5.2 Sequence of Events in the Strange Situation
1. An observer shows the experimental room to the mother and infant, then leaves the room.
2. The infant is allowed to explore the playroom for 3 minutes; the mother watches but does not participate.
3. A stranger enters the room and remains silent for 1 minute, talks to the baby for a minute, and then approaches the baby. The mother leaves unobtrusively.
4. The stranger does not play with the baby, but attempts to comfort the baby if necessary.
5. After 3 minutes, the mother returns, greets the baby, and consoles the baby.
6. When the baby has returned to play, the mother leaves again, this time saying “bye-bye” as she leaves.
7. The stranger attempts to calm and play with the baby.
8. After 3 minutes, the mother returns and the stranger leaves.
Meanwhile, the experimenter observes the baby and records their response to both separation and reunion.
Based on how the infant reacts to separation from—and reunion with—the mother, Ainsworth and other researchers discovered four primary types of attachment relationships (Ainsworth, 1993; Thompson, 2006). One is a secure attachment, and three are different types of insecure attachment (avoidant, resistant, and disorganized).
Secure attachment: The baby may or may not cry when the mother leaves, but when she returns, the baby wants to be with her, and if the baby is crying, he or she stops. Babies in this group seem to be saying, “I missed you terribly; I’m delighted to see you; but now that everything is okay, I’ll get back to what I was doing.” Approximately 60 to 65% of American babies have secure attachment relationships.
Avoidant attachment: The baby is not upset when the mother leaves and, when she returns, may ignore her by looking or turning away. Infants with an avoidant attachment look as if they’re saying, “You left me again. I always have to take care of myself!” About 20% of American infants have avoidant attachment relationships, which is the most common of the three forms of insecure attachment.
Resistant attachment: The baby is upset when the mother leaves, and the baby remains upset or even angry when she returns and is difficult to console. These babies seem to be telling the mother, “Why do you do this? I need you desperately, and yet you just leave me without warning. I get so angry when you’re like this.” About 10% to 15% of American babies have this resistant attachment relationship, which is another form of insecure attachment.
Disorganized (disoriented) attachment: The baby seems confused when the mother leaves and when she returns, seems not to understand what’s happening. The baby often behaves in contradictory ways, such as nearing the mother when she returns but not looking at her, as if wondering, “What’s happening? I want you to be here, but you left and now you’re back. I don’t get what’s going on!” About 5 to 10% of American babies have this disorganized attachment relationship, the last of the three kinds of insecure attachment.
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Fathers and mothers differ in how they play with children. Fathers are more likely to engage in vigorous physical play.
Quality of attachment during infancy predicts parent–child relations during childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. Infants with secure attachment relationships tend to report, as adolescents and young adults, that they depend on their parents for care and support. In contrast, infants with insecure attachment relationships often report, as adolescents and young adults, being angry with their parents or deny being close to them (Bretherton, 2010). However, consistency is far from perfect. Stressful life events—the death of a parent, divorce, a life-threatening illness, poverty—are associated with insecure attachments during adolescence and young adulthood. Consequently, when infants with insecure attachments experience stressful life events, their attachment tends to remain insecure; when infants with secure attachment experience these same events, their attachment often becomes insecure, perhaps because stress makes parents less available and less responsive to their children (Lamb, 2012).
Men and women are equally capable of parenting and babies typically become attached to mothers and fathers at about the same time (Lamb, 2012). However, because mothers spend more time in caregiving, they often become more skillful at parenting than fathers (Lamb, 2012). Fathers spend more time playing with their babies than taking care of them and they prefer physical play whereas mothers spend more time reading and talking to babies, showing them toys, and playing games such as patty-cake. These differences between mothers’ and fathers’ behaviors have become smaller as men and women have come to share responsibilities for child care and breadwinning (Lamb & Lewis, 2010).
Consequences of Attachment
Erikson and other theorists (Waters & Cummings, 2000) believe that infant–parent attachment, the first social relationship, lays the foundation for the infant’s later social relationships. In this view, infants who experience the trust and compassion of a secure attachment should develop into preschool children who interact confidently and successfully with their peers. In contrast, infants who do not experience a successful, satisfying first relationship should be more prone to problems in their social interactions as preschoolers. In fact, children with secure attachment relationships are more competent socially, are less prone to externalizing disorders such as bullying and fighting, as well as to internalizing disorders such as depression, and they regulate their emotions more effectively (Groh et al., 2017; Pallini et al., 2018).
Details
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When infants who have a resistant attachment relationship are reunited with the mother, they’re typically tearful, angry, and difficult to console.
Two factors contribute to the benefits for children of a secure attachment relationship. First, secure attachment evidently leads infants to see the world positively and to trust other humans, characteristics that lead to more skilled social interactions later in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood (Dykas & Cassidy, 2011). Second, parents who establish secure attachments with infants tend to provide warm, supportive, and skilled parenting throughout their child’s development (McElwain et al., 2011; Thompson, 2006). Thus, continuous exposure to high-quality parenting promotes secure attachment in infancy and positive social relationships in childhood and adolescence. These accounts are not mutually exclusive: a successful first relationship and continued warm parenting likely work together to foster children’s development.
Of course, attachment is only the first of many steps along the long road of social development. Infants with insecure attachments are not doomed, but this initial misstep can interfere with their social development. And fear of making this misstep is common among parents whose infants are cared for by others. Should they worry? We answer this question in the Linking Research to Life feature.
Linking Research to Life Attachment and Child Care
Today, millions of infants and toddlers are cared for by someone other than their mother. Some are cared for in their own home by their father, a grandparent, or another relative. Others receive care in a provider’s home; the provider is often a relative. Still others attend day care or nursery school programs. Parents and policy makers alike have been concerned about the impact of such care on children generally and on attachment specifically. For example, is there a maximum amount of time per week that infants should spend in care outside the home? Is there a minimum age below which infants should not be placed in care outside the home?
Research shows no overall effects of childcare experience on mother–infant attachment. In other words, a secure mother–infant attachment is just as likely regardless of the quality of child care, the amount of time the child spends in care, the age when the child begins care, how frequently parents change childcare arrangements, or the type of child care (e.g., a childcare center or in the home with a nonrelative). However, insecure attachments are more common when less sensitive mothering is combined with low-quality or large amounts of child care (National Institute of Child Health and Human Development Early Child Care Research Network, 1997, 2001; Sagi et al., 2002).
One other reasonably consistent finding from research on child care is that children who experience many hours of nonparental child care are more often overly aggressive, have more conflicts with teachers, and have less self-control. Part of the problem here is that children who spend long hours in child care are more likely to experience low-quality care, which is typically associated with children being less skilled socially. On a reassuring note, few children in extensive childcare experience problem behaviors that would be clinically significant. Most of the effects disappear after first grade although, as adolescents, children who experienced long hours in child care are more impulsive (Huston et al., 2015; Kohl et al., 2020; Vandell et al., 2020).
The results of this research are reassuring for parents, who often have misgivings about their youngsters spending so much time in the care of others. Nevertheless, they raise another, equally important question: What should parents look for when trying to find high-quality care for their children? In general, high-quality child care has a relatively small number of children per caregiver (e.g., three infants or toddlers per caregiver) and the caregivers are well-trained, are responsive, provide age-appropriate stimulating activities, and communicate well with parents (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2011).
What Determines Quality of Attachment?
Because secure attachment is so important to a child’s later development, researchers have tried to identify the factors involved. The most important is the interaction between parents and their babies. A secure attachment is most likely when parents respond to infants predictably and appropriately and when parents can “tune in” to their baby’s thoughts (Boldt et al., 2016; De Wolff & van IJzendoorn, 1997; Zeegers et al., 2017). For example, when a mother responds promptly to her baby’s crying and reassures the baby, the mother’s behavior conveys that social interactions are predictable and satisfying. This behavior seems to instill in infants the trust and confidence that are the hallmarks of secure attachment.
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Perhaps the most important ingredient in fostering a secure attachment relationship is responding predictably and appropriately to the infant’s needs.
Think About It
Imagine that your best friend, the mother of a 3-month-old, is about to return to her job as a social worker. She’s afraid she’ll harm her baby by going back to work. What can you say to reassure her?
Why does predictable and responsive parenting promote secure attachment relationships? To answer this question, think about your own friendships and romantic relationships. These are usually most satisfying when we believe we can trust the other people and depend on them in times of need. The same formula seems to hold for infants. Infants develop an internal working model, a set of expectations about parents’ availability and responsiveness. When parents are dependable and caring, babies develop an internal working model in which they believe their parents are concerned about their needs and will try to meet them (Huth-Bocks et al., 2004; Thompson, 2021). In contrast, when parents respond slowly, intermittently, or angrily, infants come to see social relationships as inconsistent and often frustrating.
Test Yourself 5.1
Remember and Understand
1.
ANSWERERIK ERIKSONproposed that maturational and social factors come together to pose eight unique challenges for psychosocial growth during the life span.
2.
Infants must balance trust and mistrust to achieveANSWERHOPE, an openness to new experience that is coupled with awareness of possible danger.
3.
By approximatelyANSWER6 OR 7months of age, most infants have identified a special individual—usually but not always the mother—as the attachment figure.
4.
Joan, a 12-month-old, was separated from her mother for about 15 minutes. When they were reunited, Joan would not let her mother pick her up. When her mother approached, Joan would look the other way or toddle to another part of the room. This behavior suggests that Joan has a(n)ANSWERAVOIDANT INSECUREattachment relationship.
5.
The single most important factor in fostering a secure attachment relationship isANSWERRESPONDING CONSISTENTLY AND APPROPRIATELY.
6.
Children who have a(n)ANSWERSECUREattachment relationship with their parents tend to be more competent socially and are less prone to externalizing disorders.
Apply
Based on what you know about the normal developmental timetable for the formation of mother–infant attachment, what would seem to be the optimal age range for children to be adopted?
Create
Compare the infant’s contributions to the formation of mother–infant attachment with the mother’s contributions.
5.2. Emerging Emotions
Key Questions
At what ages do children begin to express basic emotions?
What are complex emotions, and when do they develop?
When do children begin to understand other people’s emotions? How do they use this information to guide their own behavior?
Anh is ecstatic that she is finally going to see her 7-month-old nephew, Minh. She rushes into the house, sees Minh playing on the floor with blocks, and sweeps him up in a big hug. After a brief, puzzled look, Minh bursts into tears and begins thrashing his arms and legs, as if saying to Anh, “Who are you? What do you want? Put me down! Now!” Anh quickly hands Minh to his mother, who is surprised by her baby’s outburst and even more surprised that he continues to sob while she rocks him.
This vignette illustrates three common emotions. Anh’s initial joy, Minh’s anger, and his mother’s surprise are familiar to all of us. In this section, we look at when children first express emotions, how children come to understand emotions in others, and how children regulate their emotions. As we do, we’ll learn why Minh reacted to Anh as he did and how Anh could have prevented Minh’s outburst.
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